I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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