I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
