How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
