he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
