didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
