I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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