i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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