I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
God I need to hump something, right now.
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