That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
