also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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