did you get engaged???
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
