I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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