lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
