I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize