Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
