do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
