Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
