When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
