Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
