Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
