"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
