i think my mom watched the whole time
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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