Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Your penis caused this!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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