i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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