Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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