I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
