and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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