she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
