My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think your dad took our porno
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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