I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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