Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
