there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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