I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
