you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
