So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
