Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize
