I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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