He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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