Dual....:-)
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
