She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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