By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
