I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize