I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
