I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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