i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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