Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
