she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
