Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
