Sry I called you an 8
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
