The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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