Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
