it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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