Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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