so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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