I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
