I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
