How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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