oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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