Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
