Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
