it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
