There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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