my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
