i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
