You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
