he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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