I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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