We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
